It would be easy for me to blame society, my parents perhaps or the education system for the events that caused me to start locking my true feelings and thoughts up in little boxes and hiding them in my basement. To justify my angers, my frustrations, my anxiety and depression by thinking: If only someone had noticed my struggles. Maybe if I hadn’t been picked on in school. Maybe if I had been taught how to deal with my intense emotions instead of burying them. Maybe if I had understood at a younger age that it was OK to think different. Maybe if I had felt supported in my interests by family, peers, and educators. Maybe I wouldn’t have ended up angry, frustrated, depressed and lonely. Maybe I would have been more successful as success is defined by society today. Maybe I would have done wonderful and great things for the world.
But life happened how it happened and I can’t change that.
I believe it’s very important to keep asking myself why, and get to the deepest root of the events that have shaped my life. Easier said than done sometimes. Some events you will understand on your own, some will require some outside help. I believe it’s very important to acknowledge and understand the complexities of these events, but detrimental to dwell on them. To acknowledge and understand allows me to accept. To dwell will only fuel my anger and frustration. Depleting precious resources like energy and time. I choose to not focus on laying blame, but searching for acceptance instead.
Did society fail me? Maybe.
But now it’s up to me to open all those boxes in the basement and reveal the treasures: my diversity, my emotions, my sensitivities. It’s up to me to be successful as success is defined by ME. It’s up to me to do wonderful and great things for the world.