Have you ever had the for fuck sake’s realization when you know something’s true, but you want so badly to be able to deny it, place blame or avoid it yet you know in your heart the responsibility falls squarely on YOUR shoulders?
I recently had such a realization. *****SIGH******* For fuck sakes……
Yet how liberating.
I stumbled across some information that noted as humans we all have a default growth chart. Essentially it plots a graph of your life and what growth you will experience if you do nothing differently, just keep on keepin on, same job, same habits just because it’s what you’ve been doing for years and it’s comfortable. Stay working for the same company, get your 50 cent or if you’re lucky a whopping $1 an hour raise, maybe upgrade your car, go on one holiday once a year, zombie out on the couch in front of the TV every evening after supper, take kids to sporting events every weekend, you know what everyone calls LIFE.
That chart scared the SHIT OUT OF ME.
I’ve recently come to fully acknowledge that I am a HIGH ACHIEVER. I say acknowledge because I’ve been in denial about it for a long time. I called it work ethic, drive, determination but why do i have those things? Well there’s actually some “trying to prove myself psychology” behind it but that’s not what makes me a high achiever.
I push for better. I push myself to be better. Better as a husband, better as a father, better at my job even if it bores the shit out of me. I push to be the best version of ME that I can be, and I’ve been guilty of pushing others when I see their capabilities to be better even if they don’t see it.
Problem is I’ve pushed without permission. Huh…. apparently some people don’t like that. They yell at me, say things like “You’re NEVER happy!!!” Not true. I’m actually very happy. It honestly NEVER occurred to me that some people have no desire to grow personally. They want to grow their social status, bank account, or business but personal growth is not on their radar.
I THRIVE ON GROWTH. It motivates me, inspires me, excites me and the best thing about personal growth? There’s no limit. There’s not top. The bar always rises. I love that.
So what’s holding me back now? Turns out it’s the very thing that brought me success in the past. My work ethic, my drive, my determination. It’s ME that’s holding ME back. As long as I continue to use those tools the way I’ve always used them, I continue on my default growth path, no matter how hard I work at anything. To continue seeing the world as I’ve always seen it, keeps me on the default path.
So how do you change that. Well for me it took some pretty epic inner work. It took understanding where the drive came from, what sparked the determination. I had to go back deep in the memory bank and see when I started to feel underestimated. When I was told you can’t do that even though as a child I knew I could. When I noticed that I had something to offer to a situation but was dismissed because I was “Just a kid”. The anger that drove me when I was made fun of because I didn’t understand Math. That little kid developed defense mechanisms. That little kid would grind his teeth and get angry when he was dismissed, ignored, laughed at and called stupid at school. I felt I had to prove myself. So that little kid worked extra hard, pushed himself, guarded himself, refused to let the world beat him. That little kid inside me has been protecting me for a long time. That little kid got me to where I am today. That little kid missed out on a lot of opportunity to play. To be a kid. When you’re this deep inside yourself emotions run STRONG, and through the tears I told that little boy that it’s OK now. You’ve done a great job, go play, I’ll take it from here, you don’t need to prove yourself anymore.
My little kid inside held me back. Kept me small in order to shield me from the critics, the judgement and naysayers. He’s off playing in the sandbox with Tonka trucks now.
I’m ready to take if from here. I’m ready to push my growth line from the default to exponential. What that means or where it will take me I really have no idea. I see a world of opportunity, I just need to pay attention. I’ve spent too long working on employers dreams, that gets me the default. No thanks.
Time to Come home to go Big (hint…. YouTube search that phrase, it’s a great video) wanna see more? Search Deep Inner Work. More still? Check out Exponential Success. Careful tho, you may change your world.
Are you ready? What’s holding you back?